


Wing Beats

by Moon6Shadow



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Time Travel, Blanket Permission Statement Available, Don't copy to another site, Established Relationship, Grey undertones, Implied/Referenced BDSM, Implied/Referenced Deep Pressure Therapy, Implied/reference Restrictive Parenting, Long Live Feedback (LLF) Comment Project Friendly, M/M, Panic Attacks, Reposting is only allowed for historic preservation with credit; not for personal or financial gain.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 07:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19436443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moon6Shadow/pseuds/Moon6Shadow
Summary: Light, L and Jayden from S&M (a Death Note fic) by uberneko_zero end up in cannon, Light is not okay with the implications of (his Alternate self) potentially being a mass murderer who is out to kill L.





	Wing Beats

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [S&M (a Death Note fic)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11164809) by [uberneko_zero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/uberneko_zero/pseuds/uberneko_zero). 



> Jayden is L’s cousin. Death Note is not mine, Jayden and the S&M (a Death Note fic) universe belongs to uberneko_zero. Set roughly around Ch.61, where I was up to when I wrote this.

Light strode out of the room full of unfamiliar/familiar faces and into the bedroom they’d been assigned, muttering under his breath and fuming as he remembered the ridiculous story Alternate L had told him, about how alternate him was the prime suspect of being a mass murderer, of how said mass murderer wanted to kill Alternate L, as if he would ever want to kill L! Him! Sure, L might make him mad sometimes but _kill_ him!? How dare Alternate L suggest such a thing!!

“He does have a point.”

“WHAT!?” Light stared at Jayden incredulously, “As if I would _ever_ hurt L like that!”

“Even if you hadn’t met me first?”

Light stared at L “…What?” The word was a choked whisper, forced past horrified, frozen lips, all his anger, all his fury suddenly gone. Thinking back on it, L hadn’t said anything earlier, he’d been quiet, thoughtful, ‘Did he think, _did he really think_ …?’

L tipped his hat back, meeting Light’s eyes firmly. “How do you think this L and Light met, Light?”

“In the…” ‘club…, but they hadn’t had they?’ L’s eyes were steady on his, as the realisation and horror sank in. Alternate L was the best detective in the world, a world where he hadn’t met Jayden, a world where he likely moved around, where he didn’t show his face, a world where nobody knew his name, where he lived in secrecy. What was the chances, Alternate L and Alternate Light had met in such a world? They hadn’t, he realised, his heart sinking, dimly feeling hands gently guiding him to sit down, quiet voices talking to him. ‘ _They hadn’t_ …’ Alternate Light wore the clothes he never wore, the clothes he had sworn never, _ever_ to wear again, the clothes his parents had bought him, the clothes that had restricted and added to the shackles and chains of expectations and rules they had bound him in. He hadn’t noticed, _no_ , he hadn’t _wanted_ to notice. He didn’t want… he didn’t want to have the fear of going through that again and his Father, Alternate Father, was here, a Father who was a policeman in this world, a policeman who obviously expected Light to follow in his footsteps, who expected Light to be the perfect son, to be…

A voice calling his name sharply, another voice telling him to breath in, counting. More voices, more activity, his Father’s voice ringing out clearly, loud, demanding, he flinched away from it and felt hands like steel bands close around his arms, a soothing presence wrapping around him, shielding him from view. An earlier voice, rising, shuffling, L’s voice, L! No… not L, Alternate L ordering the others back, a brief shuffle, raised voices then a door closing, quiet, blissful quiet and that soothing familiar voice, still before him, telling him to breath, to keep breathing, counting, quiet, soothing, familiar.

 _Breath_ …

“That’s it, in and out, in and out…”

Light opens his eyes, when had he closed them? to meet L’s, _his L’s_ , eyes before him, steady, solid hands, steel bands on his arms, a warm body holding his steady, safe, grounded in a world that didn’t make sense. Jayden standing guard at the door and glaring daggers at… their Alternates? Alternate L was staring at him transfixed, Alternate Light looking uncomfortable, furious, and ashamed anyone was witnessing his other self breakdown. While also reluctantly intrigued about the way L was holding and comforting his other self. His eyes flicking between glaring at Alternate L and joining him in his intrigue of what was going on before him, as if he couldn’t help himself.

Light flushed slightly, looking away from them, uncomfortable, and accidentally caught Jayden’s eyes who gave him an annoyed grimace, “I couldn’t get them to leave.” He glared at the Alternates his voice sharp. “Satisfied now?”

“How did we meet in your world?” Alternate L’s eyes were just as steady and piercing as his L’s eyes, just… he’d felt L’s eyes dissecting him before, but they had never felt so… cold. No, disinterested in him, as if he was a puzzle to be solved but nothing more then that. Just one more move in a game, on a giant chess board. Light could feel indignation rising up on pure principle and he glared at this Alternate L that both was and was not L. While trying to shove down the reminder and creeping panic that yes, yes he had seen L's eyes so cold before, that he'd seen L's eyes go even colder, disinterested, closed off, _and he never wanted to see L look at him like that again._

L, his L, moved between them blocking his view dark, warm eyes catching his and demanding his attention. A question, a gentle squeeze of hands. Light nodded to him and gave him a weak smile, to let him know he was okay now. L’s face told him quite clearly, he didn’t buy it for a second, Light was pretty sure he didn’t either. His head was still spinning, revelations, pieces, spinning around in his head, ‘that he was… that he might be... or at least his alternate might be…’ another gentle squeeze of hands, that wasn’t so gentle anymore, fast approaching steel bands again, it was grounding. Alternate L would likely be just as happy as being ignored as his L would be but right now, right now Light didn’t care as he sank against L and felt comforting, protective, bands of steel wrap around him, holding him close, keeping him safe. An unimportant strangled sound, quickly fading into the distance as he drifted.

L was here, ‘even if, _even if…._ ’ But it wasn’t important, L was _here_ , keeping him safe and like hell Light was going to let some crazy back to front world change that, but for now, for now he, _they_ , were safe, Jayden could take care of their Alternates, right now he just wanted to curl up with his L and rest. As he felt himself shifted to a more horizontal position, softness, and a comforting protective warm surrounding him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Jayden is L’s cousin. Death Note is not mine, Jayden and the S&M (a Death Note fic) universe belongs to uberneko_zero. Set roughly around Ch.61, where I was up to when I wrote this. 
> 
> Cannon Light: Freaks out over being accused of being a mass murderer.  
> Alternate Universe Light: Screw everyone else, freaking out over how close he came to turning into someone who could kill L.  
> XD 
> 
> That was not planned, (none of it was planned, it was meant to go somewhere else with more Jayden then Light stole my keyboard), but well, there is a difference between imagining yourself capable of being able to kill a random stranger and being capable of killing someone close to you. In this case, your best friend/boyfriend and being scared of how they'll react. Particularly since this Light has a ton of insecurity about being accepted for himself that has taken quite a few knocks that cannon Light's hasn't. It got way deeper than expected there. There are a bunch of implications through this that you may not entirely get if you haven't read the first half or so of S&M (a Death Note fic) by uberneko_zero. 
> 
> Basically, just another story playing on how a flap of a butterfly wings could change everything. Also, at a certain point during S&M I realised that Light's Father wasn't police and I just thinking 'Oh boy, imagine just how bad things would have been if he _had been?'_ That alone is probably panic attack worthy material right there. Thank goodness, L isn't fond of sharing personal details, like his name, no matter what world he lives in.
> 
> AU!Light is also having a little trouble keeping Cannon Light and himself separate when it comes to being accused of potentially wanting to kill L, he just can't fathom a universe where he would want to kill L, particularly since L and his cousin have pretty much literally saved him multiple times in his world. Yet he knows he was extremely desperate for _anything_ to change around the time he met L, which just makes the potential of him (cannon Light) being the murderer who wants to kill L more likely. Add on the little detail of Cannon Light being a policeman's son from the perspective of the S&M universe and parental pressure plus Light's desire to be accepted and need to act like the perfect son and things get darker again as the likelihood of Light being Kira, or the potential of being Kira, increases due to twisted morals. Plus wishy washy teenage Light struggling with not admitting to himself he is gay and the feelings he has for L being serious and it's a nightmare waiting to happen. 
> 
> AU!Light is also having trouble telling the Alternate Father from his Father, which is on purpose since this is set roughly around Ch.61, where I was up to when I wrote this, and their relationship is very shaky at the moment. 
> 
> -  
> The title Wing Beats may also be a play on Angel Beats (Anime), given I just reread the angel chapter. As well as the being a fan of multiple Bleach 'flap of a butterfly wings' style stories titles plus just thinking of that concept.  
> -
> 
> There wasn’t going to be a hug and then I added the ‘Implied/Referenced Deep Pressure Therapy’ tag to my notes for the hand pressure and went, well might as well go for a hug. Adds another paragraph and a half, looking for an ending. XD
> 
> Also yes, Cannon L, the Light from another universe did just completely ignore and fall asleep on you. XD 
> 
> Imagining Jayden shoving the Alternates out and then going to curl up with L and Light and L just giving him a Look, Jayden holding up his hands in mock innocence with a smug grin ‘I had to try alright? Yeesh loosen up a little, Cuz.’ before heading for the other bed instead. Alternatively I can totally see them all in bed together and it being hilarious when they wake up, with L being annoyed and pissed because “I didn’t want to wake you up and this idiot just wouldn’t leave”, Light being ‘resigned pissed/why do I put up with this shit?’ and Jayden feeling so smug and pleased with himself, until the other two get him back. There is a scene in the main story were the feels are totally along those lines. It’s brilliant. XD 
> 
> Different place, but a slightly adjusted 1/3 of chapter 54 as the next morning would be really amusing for the cannon gang to witness. XD  
> -  
> Thank you everyone for reading!! <3
> 
> #Fandom for Fun, so not looking for critics but pretty much all polite feedback including Whisper and Murmur comments are totally welcome. If you've left feedback in the form of kudos, bookmarks and/or comments I likely won't see feedback immediately, but I will see it eventually so thank you!!


End file.
